A Promise
by taylorhollis81
Summary: Based after the Host, What happens when Wanda has been taken by a new group of Humans? How will the others in the cave feel about this? Will she be accepted again, or beaten by the violent humans. O'Wanda story. Lots of romance!
1. Breathe Me

"We saw another circling on the main road today. I wouldn't think anything of it but, be aware" Jeb warned in the dining hall. I was staring at the rocky floor next to Melanie, my back was against the wall. Of course they were looking again. They always did every time a soul goes missing. And recently they've been looking more frequently and closer to home. My home I thought. I've finally made a place here that I can truly call home and yet they're still making me anxious that one day it will be discovered. Even after I saved my seeker and sent her away, people were looking again. It was probably three months later when we took sunlight within that they began looking here again. Even though our efforts failed and the body refused to awake after the soul was removed. I sent the poor soul to the flower planet, where it would have time to process what had happened to him.

And then there was Ian. I never thought that I could love another species or even person so much in all of my lives. That night where I thought I would have been dead without saying goodbye to him haunted me now, but only as if it were a dark nightmare. I'm always with Ian as much as possible because I never really know how much time we have.

I've been worried about Ian lately. He's been having recurring nightmares almost every night about the humans never waking up, or seekers finding us. Sometimes he screams in his sleep and I'm the one that has to wake him up to comfort him.

One night a couple weeks ago, he fell asleep before me. I was watching the three little stars in the cracks of the ceiling and focussing on the slight breeze it gave, when I noticed tears were rolling down his cheek.

"Ian? Ian are you okay?" I whispered to him as softly as I could. His eyes remained closed but he answered honestly to me.

"Just had a bad dream, that's all"

"do you want to tell me what it is?" I stared at his pain filled face until he opened his eyes and stared at mine for a second. He almost surprised me when he began speaking,

"I was with you in the dining hall. We were laughing with Jamie, Jared and Melanie, we were talking about how tall Jamie has gotten, and then it was like.. everyone was gone. One second you were in my arms, and the next I couldn't find you. I walked all around the caves searching every room. Once I finally stepped into docs office..." he paused and another tear rolled down his cheek. I pulled my hand to his face and wiped it away with my thumb. "everyone. They were all dead. One giant pile of dead bodies. You were on your knees, sobbing and yet at peace with death. As soon as glanced up at me, a seeker pulled the trigger on the gun and..." I could feel every once of pain within his voice. I instantly couldn't stand here and watch him suffer. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as I could. He reciprocated and we sat there in silence for what could have been hours.

"I'm never going to leave you, Ian" I promised not only to him but to myself. Nothing in this world could break me apart from him. "Even if seekers come, I'm never going to let them hurt you" He let go of me just enough so that I was inches away from him.

"It wasn't me who I was concerned about" I smiled to myself " I'm never going to let them take us apart" he vowed. He kissed me so softly at first but then, as if we couldn't help it, it began to intensify until it was like I couldn't control myself anymore. He rolled over so I was straddling him, I continued to kiss him while my hair flowed to the left side,brushing down to the mattress on the side of his cheek. Both his hands were on my waist, tugging me down as close as I could to him. I kissed him with all of the passion I had. He slid his hands under my shirt and against my back. I put my elbows on the bed and got even closer to him. Then he pulled away a bit, breaking the kiss. "you had a long day, you should get some rest" he gasped, breathless. Feeling a little confused and hurt, I nodded my head and got off of him. I rolled so that I was as far as the small mattress would take me, then I turned facing the opposite direction. I couldn't make eye contact with him. I heard a sigh, but I didn't make any movements. Even though I could feel his eyes on the back of my head I ignored them and silent tears fell streaming down into my hair as I fell into a restless sleep. I woke up before him as usual, and tried my best not to be around him as much as possible. Sadly for me, I'm always with Ian almost every second of the day. So when I tried to back away from him in the first hour, he saw what I was doing and let me have my space. I don't know if it helped me or if it made me even more sad because of how little he tried to talk to me. So for the rest of the time, I was with jamie spending some quality time with him. Why did he stop me last night? I thought that he would have wanted it even more than I had? So many questions roared through my head and I was glad that I didn't have to share my embarrassment anymore. Even though I kinda miss that voice in the back of my head telling me what to do.

It was the end of the day and I was cleaning up alone in the dining hall. I was putting away the last plate when I looked up and saw a familiar face.

"Can we talk?" Ian asked, leaning against the wall. I slowly nodded my head as I set the plate down against the rough counter. "not here" he whispered, taking my hand in his and guiding me down the dark pathway to our room.

When we got there, the room was black except for the cracks in the ceiling that revealed the moonlight. I could see his face but nothing around him. We were utterly alone and most of me liked that except that I had no idea where this conversation was going.

"about last night..." he began. He looked down at the floor almost as if it was troubling him more than me to talk about this. "I'm just..sorry about everything. I didn't mean to hurt you" He looked me in the eyes. I couldn't meet his glare. How could he say that to me? After shutting me out like that?

"I wasn't hurt" I spit back. He was confused at my tone.

"It just seemed as though-,"

"Everything doesn't revolve around you" I glare at him now, but immediately I wish I could have taken it back. I could tell that my hurtful words affected him and yet I just kept going. He looked down again, taking a step back. "I'm sorry" I whisper. Admitting anything so vulnerable was always hard for me. "I - I was hurt" Ian grinned just the tiniest bit. "does that amuse you?"

"No, but I do think it's funny how hard it is for you to admit you're wrong. And the strange thing is that I actually believed you. Looks like you're lying is enhancing with time" I smile but I don't want to be happy now. I need an explanation.

"Why did you turn me down last night?" I ask when it went silent. He looks at the wall then back at me. Then he takes my hands in his and stares right into my eyes.

"I was concerned about what it may do to us. To you... It just seems like we shouldn't be rushing into things right now. Not with the war going on and the human race being hunted as we speak"

I held his hands tighter in mine. I got closer so that I was inches away from him. Then I repeated the words I saw in my memory so many times with Melanie. "You never know how much time you have. We could be taken at any moment"

He whispered to me even though there was no one else that could possibly hear us, "I could be taken at any moment. They wouldn't kill you"

"But I would kill myself" I whispered back. He was taken aback by my confidence.

"No. You couldn't do that to yourself. I would rather give myself up to them before you could ever be taken from me. And if theres ever a day when I can't be with you, I would find you and bring you back" A lone tear streaked my face.

"Why would you risk your life for mine?" I asked. He wiped away my tear and cupped my face.

"Because I love you, and we were meant to be together until the day I die" pain ran through me. Yes he was one day going to die, and I would be right beside him. I know that I'm never going to leave this planet, and never this body again.

"There's such little time" I wonder aloud. "I've lived for thousands of years and time never seemed to mattered to me, but now it seems as though it's the only thing nagging at me until one day we're both in shallow graves in the desert next to our closest friends"

"No Wanda, don't you see? Your not meant to die. You can live forever. If that's my last wish then so be it. You have to live without me"

"But I can't do that!" I yelled, stepping away from him. I turn around and put my hands on my head. How can't he see that no matter what he does, I'm going to be next to him for the rest of time. I turn back around, ready to convince the man I love. "This is the only place where nothing and everything makes sense to me and it's where I belong. I want to be with you when it happens. To Both of us"

He looks frustrated. As if he wants to scream at me but knows that it wouldn't make a difference. Ian's not the angry kind of person but I could tell that I've set him off a bit. Instead of screaming at me the way I thought he would, he sighed and came right up to me. Closing the gap between us.

"I'm never going to win that fight am I?" he whispered. I shake my head back and forth. "then theres one thing I need you to do for me if you want it to go your way" confusion ran through my brain. This is one of those times I wish I had someone else there with me to help figure it out. He leaned in and kissed me softer than he ever has before. A spark ran through me that surprises me every time. The lava sinks through my body melting me in his arms. Before I've even started to have enough, he leans away.

"Do you agree?"

"I don't know what it is yet"

"Please Wanda. Can you agree to my terms if I agree to yours?" I thought for a moment. No matter what I was going to die next to him and there was nothing he could do to stop me. But all I wanted at that moment was to see him happy.

"I agree" I whispered, leaning closer. But before he kissed me again he turned so he was whispering in my ear.

"Marry me" it wasn't a question. It was his side of the terms. If I were to die by his side, I was going to marry him first. An alien soul and a human being, married. I never heard of such a crazy thing in all of my ten lives. But for one thing we were unique. It was something that never should happen and is never going to be right with the souls or humans. But that didn't bother me. It was like I didn't care about what everyone thought of the disaster that is my love life. I love Ian. And I want this. I tilt my head so now I'm whispering in his ear. My heart pounds as I answer.

"Yes. I agree" I can feel him smiling. He pulls me away so that I was face to face to him. He gets closer and this time it wasn't like the soft sweet kiss before. It was full of passion and intensity. Almost as if it were driving us crazy that we couldn't have more. And I wanted more. He stopped before it got too out of control. He pulled away so our foreheads were touching. "I love you so much" I breathe. He smiles even wider

"There are no words to describe how much I love you" feeling touched, I smile and kiss him again. We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing about the future. By the end of the night, I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up differently than I used to. I woke up knowing that no matter what, I was going to live the rest of my life with Ian. And even though I was utterly scared of dying, I knew that I wouldn't be afraid when the time came. Ian was still sleeping as usual. He was one of the last people to wake up in the morning. I snuck out of the room and crossed into the hallway. I needed some time to think. I went down to the big opening in the field and sat there for a few minutes. Just wondering what I was getting myself into, and what this meant for my future. While I thought to myself in utter silence, I heard a high pitched scream.

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"Help, I have done it again,

I, have been here many times before

Hurt myself again, today

And, the worst part is there's no one else to blame" -Breathe me, Sia

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**Chapter one... What do you guys think? Review please! thx xoxoxo**


	2. Never Let Me Go

**Thanks for the reviews guys! I'm gonna try to update as soon as possible. Hope you like this new chapter!**

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It sounded far away and not very easy to hear, but I definitely heard it. Instant fear ran through me. I thought of everyone I loved. Jamie, Jared, Melanie, Jeb, Doc, Ian. I couldn't stand a day without them. They were all my family now. So when I heard the scream again, I got right to my feet and ran down the hallway following my steps to my room. Sprinting faster than I ever thought possible, I came into the room to see him still there, sleeping of course.

"Ian! Ian wake up somethings happening!" I yelled. He instantly sat up on his elbows and listened to my sobbing words. "I was in the field and all of a sudden I heard a scream. I ran here as soon as possible but. I have to make sure everyone's okay and-" he jumped up and put his arms around me. I threw my arms around his neck and held him there for a couple seconds.

"No matter what happens, remember I love you" he whispered, then he got to his feet, pulling me along and ran out the door.

He held my hand as we jogged down the hallway, being careful to watch for any sign of movement. We came out to the little field I was in. He looked all around and then came back to me.

"Where did you hear it?" he asked. I thought back to the fuzzy yet deathly familiar memory.

"From the entrance" I choked. Knowing that sent another wave of fear through me. They must have found us. We continued to the far end of the tunnel until we found the entrance ways. Ian held my hand tighter as we came up to exit. But to my surprise no one was here. "I swear I heard it" I said feeling stupid. He looked at me full of love and other emotions I didn't deserve.

"I know Wanda. Lets go see near the exit" He tugged me along and walked out the entrance. To our surprise, I was right. I heard someone scream. It was Lacey on the cave ground, being held by what seemed to be Sunny.

"I can't go back! They can't take me!" she screamed. Confusion and concern drifted through my body as I saw a small circle gathering around them. It looks like I had been right all along. Ian held my hand almost painfully. I knew that he understood what this means. I just wished I could take some of that fear away from him. It hurts me everytime I see him suffer like this. We walked up to Jeb standing on the outside of the small circle gathering around Lacey.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Seekers. They killed Andy" he says casually, as if it's a common occurrence around here. I never had a special memory of Andy that I could cry about how he's gone. But I knew that he was a good person and that he never deserved to die. But that part didn't scare me as much as the point that he is dead.

"how?" I ask. Jeb turns and notices my presence. Instead of answering my question, he sighs.

"You should go back Wanda. Get some sleep or something" This takes me by surprise.

"Why would I do that? I've had enough sleep" I look up at Ian's face to see him glaring at Jeb. Instead of denying it any longer I nod my head to Jeb. "Actually I'm feeling a little worn out. Ian can you come with me?" I ask as innocently as I can. He looks in my eyes for a moment.

"Of course. Can I have a moment real quick to talk to Jeb?" I pause a second. I knew they were keeping something from me. I wanted to wait until we were alone to call him out on it though

"Yeah sure" I say, walking back through the cave a little so I was out of sight but still in hearing range. I listen as closely as I can to their whispering conversation.

"You need to tell her sometime"

"I don't know yet Jeb. She's very fragile and I don't want to cause her any more pain than I have to" there was a pause.

"If you don't do it, I will" Jeb vowed. I could hear the anger in Ian's voice as he responded.

"Ugh. It's like fate doesn't want her to be happy" when I heard him say this, I kind of felt a little hurt. Of course I was happy. Here with my family and the love of my life. "I'll do it. I'll go right now" thats all I heard as I started going further down the hallway until I was safely far enough that he wouldn't suspect I had been listening. When he came around the corner, he had a sad smile on his face. I immediately took my hand in his and walked back to our room. When we got there, I began speaking.

"I know you and Jeb are hiding something from me" I blurt out. Instead of feeling deceived like I thought he would be, he smiles at me.

"I can't hide anything from you. It's like you're brain thinks twice as fast as anyone else. Is that a soul thing?" I chuckle.

"No. It's just me" something about that amuses him.

"So. You're right. But before I tell you, can you promise me that you're not going to be totally selfless like always and try and save the day? I can't stand it if-" he stopped in his tracks. "can you promise me that much?" Now I'm worried. This must be something important or he wouldn't be truly concerned for me.

"Tell me first" I say. He looks down, unable to look at me in the eyes.

"Well. There was this incident that happened. Only Jared Jeb and I know about it but I'm sure Jareds told Melanie by now" He was scaring me the more he talked. "We were concerned about someone near us. A seeker. We went to where they were traveling and saw a message written in the dirt about two hundred yards away. It wrote" he sighed again.

"'We know you have Wanderer as your prisoner. Give her back or we will find her ourselves, no matter what it takes'.. at first we didn't think anything of it. But after a few weeks we saw more and more progress with the seekers. It was getting harder and harder to go on raids. Now it's so bad we can't even go outside at all. And now Andy's dead. Apparently he was going out on a raid with a few people but before they could get to the jeep he was spotted and shot" It was Walter all over again. Because of me people were dying. I was attracted to death. Tears fell from my watery eyes. Before Ian could say something to try and comfort me, I turned and faced the wall so he couldn't see me crying anymore. I didn't want to seem weak to him. "Wanda. It's not your fault"

"It's all my fault!" I yell, not turning around to meet his gaze.

"There's nothing anyone can do, and no one's letting you run away from us" he sounded as if he was unsure of himself.

"If I just never came here in the first place, I would have saved so much pain" I sobbed. Ian turned me around so I was facing him with my big red puffy eyes.

"You coming here was the best thing that ever happened to me. Do you even know how much happiness you've caused?"

I didn't respond.

"Melanie, Jared, Jamie? Me? Do you know how much happiness you've cause me? If you weren't here, Jamie, Jared, Melanie, Kyle, and many others wouldn't be here. Do you want that? For most of us to be dead?"

"How could you even ask me that? Of course I wouldn't want that to happen. But because of me, Walter, Wes, Andy and I don't know how many more will be dead because of me! Maybe even you!"

"But I don't even care Wanda! Because I would know that everything I've been through. All the hell. All the suffering of this painful life, it would all be worth it because I got to meet you!" he leaned closer and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I would have gotten to fall in love with you" It was so hard to be mad at him or even angry when he did this to me.

"Ugh!" I scream. Annoyed that no matter what I do I can't stay mad at him. "Why can't you see that I want to be screamed at? I don't deserve everything you all give me but I take it with open arms. You keep telling me that I'm selfless but honestly I think that I'm the most selfish person here. Like right now. All I want to do is kiss you, even though I know that you're too good to be stuck with the girl who attracts death!" I stood there, out of breath, waiting for him to respond. He looks at me with a sad smile. Then he hugs me. I wasn't expecting him to do so, and I began pulling away. But he just hugged me tighter. I knew I couldn't compete with his strength, so I gave in and hugged him back. Then he leaned away and stared me in the eyes.

"You need to stop acting like we would all be better off if you never came. I would die without you and you know that. Can you tell me that you don't want this?" he brushed the hair out of my eyes. "or this?" He brushed his hand over my waist "Or this?" he leaned in and kissed me. The lava erupted and I couldn't help but put my arms around his neck. Taking his hair in my hands that clenched into fists. He pulled away when he felt me crying.

"How is it that you've cried so much in twenty four hours?" He asked wiping away the tears. I gazed at him mystically.

"Can I lay down for a while?" I say, sorrowed. He cups my face and nods. I lay down on the mattress and he puts the blanket over me. I didn't want to do anything anymore. It was like I was done trying. But one thing I was sure of. "Ian?" I ask as he begins to walk out of the room.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you can stay with me for awhile?" he grins at me. That same grin that I love so much.

"Of course I will" he comes over so that he's laying with me. Instead of laying beside me like he usually does, he picks me up in his arms, and sets me down on his lap. "You don't even have to ask" I laugh. Then he kisses me quickly. I pull the blanket over both of us and rest my head on his chest as he holds me as close as possible to him.

"I could get used to this" I smile. He kisses the top of my head.

"Me too", and surprisingly, I fall asleep within minutes.

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"And its breaking over me

a thousand miles down to the sea bed

found a me place to rest my head" -Never Let Me Go, Florence and the Machine

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**Next chapter's going to be really intense guys... prepare yourselves now. Review! xoxoxo**


	3. Young and Beautiful

**Ugh you guys are amazing. Your reviews are inspiring and keep posting them! Please they make my day 1000 times better :p. Enjoy the chapter, it's a good one hehe**

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When I wake up, I'm alone. I was surprised that Ian didn't wake me up when he left, usually I'm a light sleeper. But I guess being so worked up really tired me out. I get to my feet and walk out of my room. As I walk down to the field cave, I notice that there is a lot of talking going on. Everyone must be gathered here. Before I'm in sight, I listen in on what the conversation is about, and why I wasn't included.

"Listen everyone, I know that this is scary, and we're in real risk here, but the only thing we can do is prepare for the worst, and pray that we're not found. And I'm gonna be practical here, we don't have a good chance anymore" gasps "I know, I know. But on the rate we're going, we don't stand a chance. So everyone please prepare for the worst, because we might not have much time left"

"You know it's all her fault!" Maggie shouted. "if she wasn't here, we never would have been discovered in the first place!"

"If she wasn't here half of us would be dead" Jared shouted back at her. Maggie glared at him.

"No if she wasn't here she'd be dead" Maggie pointed at Melanie. Jared stepped in front of Melanie, guarding her. I noticed Ian leaning against the wall in utter silence. I guess they figured he had no say in the conversation.

"Now, now, Jeb says, holding his gun closer to him. Lets all have a group decision. Raise your hand if you're in favor of sending Wanda" Ian was suddenly paying close attention to the hands being raised. About eighty percent of the group raised their hands in favor of sending me away. I stupidly let a sob escape from my lips and my presence was suddenly the most known thing in the room. Everyone turned to me, especially Ian, looking more concerned than I've ever seen him before. I let the stream trickle down my cheek as I stepped forward.

"I'll leave tonight" I announce. Then I turn around and ran away. Anywhere that wasn't near the group of people that wanted my death. As I sprinted I began to run out of breath. This body wasn't in the shape that Melanie's was in. I couldn't run as fast or as long as I used to and I really hated that. Because of this, I heard footsteps following me. I knew that I couldn't outrun them but I still wanted to try. So I ran as fast as my legs could take me through the small hallway of the cave. I heard the footsteps coming closer and closer every second. Eventually the footsteps were right behind me, and grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around. I stumbled at first but then caught my ground. When I turned around, of course it was Ian who I saw. I was sobbing out tears. I tried so hard to run away when I knew that it wouldn't have helped me anyway. He saw my hysterics and pulled me close into a warm, comforting hug. We stood like this for the longest time. Every time I thought he was going to let me go, He pulled me in closer.

"I won't let them take you" He spoke in the silence. "They can't. Not like this" now I could tell he was crying. Every instinct I've ever had wanted to comfort him.

"I think I have to, Ian. It's two against thirty four. What kind of odds are those? We don't even stand a chance"

"Runaway with me" he whispered in my ear, still holding on to my waist, tugging me closer. Runaway and we'll get married. Live life on the run, create our own underground home, I don't care as long as we're together" He really was willing to die for me. But I was not willing to let him do that.

"Okay" I silently cry. "Can you go get some stuff together? I have to go tell Melanie, I can't leave her without saying goodbye first after everything that's happened. She'll understand, she won't stop me" Ian considered this for a moment.

"Okay" he holds me one last time.

"Hey Ian?" I ask. He leans away so that he's staring into my eyes. I take this opportunity to kiss him like I've never kissed him before. With so much love that I thought I was going to die right there. "If they get me before I see you again, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. No matter what, I'll always love you and nothing can change that" A tear streamed down my cheek.

"I promise. No matter what happens, we'll be together again. Even if I have to go through hell to bring you back to me, I. will. not. live without you. Do you understand? I love you more than my heart can function. Every breath, every ounce of passion I have lived for you and you only. I can't even imagine trying to live a day without you by my side"

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" I ask in wonder, I leaned in so close to him that I was centimeters away from kissing him again.

"You took your first breath," he says. I close the gap between us and kiss him while crying. I tried to remember this moment as much as I could, but I was soon lost in the kiss. Every time he brushed his hand over my back, I shuddered with anticipation and joy. He pushed me up against the wall. I was trapped between the cave and his body. I've never been more happy in my life. I raised my leg so that it was on his hip, and he raised my other one, so that I was completely off the floor. He held me against his body and the wall, kissing me all over. From the nape of my neck, to my shoulder blade, to my collarbone, anywhere he could reach he was kissing. Sensation wound through me and I felt that the safest place I've ever been is in his arms at this very moment. He came back to my lips and crashed against them, making the lava go from flowing, to exploding out the sides. But I knew that I couldn't live in my world of happiness forever. So I broke apart from him, still in the air.

"I-Ian" I gasped, trying to catch my breath. "We have to g-" he kissed my neck again and I was at a loss for words. "we have to- um- go to-" And suddenly I didn't care that I was risking my life, I felt as though I would rather risk it right now than risk not being near him ever again. I knew now more than ever that I wanted to marry him. If only we had more time.

"Ian-" I tried again, he stopped this time and looked back at me, but made sure he didn't drop me from him. "w-we should probably go.." I stuttered. He nodded his head and set me on the floor with little effort, as if it didn't affect him any to pick me up like that. He only made it harder not to kiss him again.

"Okay" he nodded again. "I guess I kinda lost control of myself for a little while" he says sadly, as if I didn't want him to.

"Stop" I say, taking his face in my hands and bringing them around to meet me. "Don't feel bad about doing that. It was one of the best memories I have ever had so don't try and ruin it. I love you" He smiles back at me.

"I love you too, he kisses my hair and takes my hand, walking me back to our room, and Melanie's. I wish I could have told him what I was really doing, and that I could say a real goodbye.

When we got to the rooms, he let go of my hand. As I began to walk to Melanie's room, Ian turned me around and to my surprise, kissed me. The kiss was soft, but sweet but mostly just sad, because I knew this would be our last goodbye. I wish I could tell him what I was really doing but he would have stopped at nothing to prevent me. So I let him think what he wanted to think, while I pulled away. I gave him a soft, sad smile, and pulled a hand up to his cheek. He smiled back at me, and I turned away again, and continued my walk to Melanie's and Jared's room.

When I got there, I saw Melanie and Jared talking on their mattress, what looked like Melanie was crying.

"Hey, guys?" I asked. They turned their attention to me immediately. Melanie jumped up and hugged me. I closed my eyes and tried my best not to cry in front of them. Melanie let me go and backed away next to Jared, who was standing up now. "Can you guys help me?" I asked.

"Oh of course, we won't let them do that to you I promise" I was taken aback.

"No, I want you to help me give myself up" Jared's face was full of confusion.

"Why would you want that?" he asked. I sighed and told them the reason I was willing to give up my life for theirs.

"I love you guys. I can't let them take everything from you and everything you've worked for because of me. Thats not fair. Why should you save one life when I can save thirty? I don't think it's fair to let me be here, and everyone else be miserable. If anyone else got hurt because of me... I would just lose it. I already don't want to talk or eat anymore. I don't see the use for anything besides wanting everyone I love be okay. Imagine what I would do if I hurt any of you? Or Jamie? Or Ian?... I have to leave"

"Imagine how depressed Ian's going to be. He's going to go catatonic. I can't even imagine trying to talk him out of that. He's going to risk his life to find you again"

"That's what I need your help with. I need you to tell him I'm dead. Tell him that you saw them kill me. It's the only way he won't try and find me"

"This is crazy Wanda!" Melanie yelled. "Can you be selfless for one day?"

"Yeah I can, and I'm starting today. I just need to know that he's okay. I have to. Either way I have to go but my last wish is know that he's gonna be okay" Melanie was quiet while she thought. I could tell that she was conflicted by her decision.

"If it's the last thing,-"

"You can't seriously be thinking about this are you?" Jared yelled. "Wanda, You can't leave because of this! We'll find a way but I just-. I can't-" he looked at me with angry eyes. "You can't leave" was his final word. I looked down at the floor.

"I'm sorry you couldn't help me on this. I'm giving myself up before anyone else gets hurt on my behalf" I walked out the door without saying goodbye. The next stop was to Jeb. I had to tell him my decision.

When I got to the main cave, I saw that everyone was still there discussing what was to be done with me. When they heard me come in the room, I got glares that I got the first day, as if I was a traitor again. I walked passed all the death stares I got until I reached Jeb, who looked concerned for me.

"Where am I walking?" I asked confidently. He gave me a look that I could tell was sympathetic.

"I'll show you when the time comes"

"The sooner the better please" I say, worried that Ian could come rushing through here at any moment. Jeb looks at me the way I see him do when he knows somethings going on.

"Okay. Follow me" he states. I walk behind him as he leads me through the crowd of people who smile at my soon death. It doesn't bother me. I don't even care what they are thinking, I'm distracted thinking that this is my last time I'll be in these caves and I won't be able to see the people I love ever again. I'm on a sure plan for murder. If the seekers don't kill me, I'll surely kill myself. This could be my last day. I silently cry again. I don't know how many tears I've shed in twenty four hours but it must be a bucket of them at least.

I can see the exit, the light ahead of me. Jeb and Kyle are leading me out while others follow behind. I'm okay, I think to myself. Everything that I've been through here on earth was worth it because I've never been happier. A grin appears in the corner of my mouth. At least I can die on the planet I love. My thoughts are broken by a scream behind me.

"No! You can't take her!" I don't turn around. I know exactly who it is. "please! I'll do anything! Please!" the screams turn into sobs.

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"will you still love me

when I'm no longer young and beautiful

will you still love me

when I've got nothing but my aching soul?" -Young and Beautiful, Lana Del Ray

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**That was sad I know. It's only gonna get better from here and I have so many plans for the future. But I keep getting sidetracked and every review makes me want to keep updating sooner. So review please! So far I love them and it makes me so happy! Love ya!**


	4. Never say Never

**Sorry for taking a long time to update guys, this was actually done for a while but I just didn't upload it... oops! Thanks for the AMAZING reviews and I love you all! Seriously this is just amazing and keep on reviewing pleaseeee. You really help with which way the story is going to go and I would love your input! Thxx**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Host. Wish I did. There's a difference.**

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"It was her decision Ian! We didn't take her, she went willingly" I heard Jared yell back to Ian through the crowd.

"Because thats her! She would do anything for us. She saved us a million times why can't we save her this one!" there was a pause. "I love her"

"I know. I know Ian" I heard a ruffling of what I could tell was fighting of some kind.

"Wanda!" a tear streamed down my cheek but I kept walking. "Wanda!" the sound was being ruffled. "let me go I have to save her!"

"You can't save her anymore" Jared spoke. "let her go" That was the last of the ruffling and all I could hear now were Ian's cries. Another tear rolled down my face. I know I'm going to cause him pain but everything I'm doing right now is protect him. If things were different, and I wasn't on my death sentence, I would have ran up to him and threw my arms around him, telling him everything was going to be okay. But I knew that I had to be strong and let him suffer a little right now, so that he wouldn't suffer later. I was doing this for him. I kept telling myself that.

"Here we are" Jeb spoke. "Now it's still daylight, and I'm sure they are looking all over for you, so if they see you out there, they can easily follow your footsteps back here. Can you wait for dark to come in a couple hours?" he asked. I nodded my head. Instead of leaving me like the rest of the mob did, he slid down against the cave wall and sat there, staring at me. I did the same on the opposite wall and put my head between my hands. "I think you're the bravest person I've ever met" Jeb spoke after a long silence. I didn't talk back to him. "I would've let you stay" he blurts out at me. I turn my head to face him.

"Why would you risk everyone's life for me?" I croak, still silently crying.

"Cause everyone in here is selfish and stupid. You've risked your life for everyone here and they can't risk theirs for you. I think that's one sided if you ask me. What kinda relationship is that?"

"One between humans and Aliens" I whisper back. He chuckles.

"You can still back out. You don't have to say goodbye just yet" I sigh. Classic Jeb, always trying to make me comfortable in his home. But soon I won't be in his home.

"You don't have to do anything for me anymore. Once I'm gone, you're problems will be too. Then everyone can go back to their lives and I won't be here to disturb anyone"

"You think you're disturbing everyone? You make everything just that much more alive. I know that before you got here, Jared, Jamie, Ian, and about everyone else was either suffering or bored. Then all of a sudden you come along and this place has never been more alive. You're just that type of person that everyone wants to be around. Well, most everyone" I look down at the ground.

"I have to do this Jeb. I love them too much" I whisper.

"I know you do kid, and I don't blame you for trying to save them. All I'm saying is that every time you find some trouble, you seem to always find a way to fix it. Even when I think you can't, somehow you show me wrong"

"I can't fix it this time. They want me, or they'll keep looking. If they keep looking they could find us here. And I would be dead anyways"

"You think they're gonna stop once they find you? This is what they've been looking for, for years" He spoke.

"Am I so stupid to try?"

"No all I'm saying is that you may be walking into a trap, and you're causing the people you love pain for no reason. I think that even when they have you, they're still going to hunt us down until they find us. Don't tell the rest, but we're leaving for a little while, until I've seen that they've covered this land and don't suspect anything. Once that happens, We'll see if it's safe to come back. This is gonna happen, with or without you"

"But what if they find us before I go-"

"Then you would have nothing to do with it"

"But think about it. If I go I can convince them that we're in the opposite direction. You guys can be safe and I'll have a purpose. No one will have to suffer because of me. Maybe they'll miss me for a little while but then... They can continue to live. And thats all I can hope for" Jeb was silent for a little while.

"I guess that makes sense" he said. "So am I never going to convince you to stay?" he asked sadly. I shook my head back and forth.

"No. I'm sorry, but I can't do that to them" I spoke confidently. I didn't want to show any sign of doubt in my voice even though the selfish side of me wanted to.

"Okay. I'll let you go then"

Jeb kept his word. When dark came along, he walked me out about fifty yards into the black lonely desert.

"I'm gonna miss you kid. You truly did help us more than you think you did"

"I'm gonna miss you too" I said. "C-Can you just tell them that I'm sorry. And that I love them all?" He pulled me into an embrace and I knew that that was his answer. Of course he would tell them. It felt good to hug him. Like he really was apart of my family. He pulled away from me and smiled, before he turned and walked away.

As I walked with Jeb's directions, I thought about that night with Ian when he asked to marry me. How one day I was going to be his wife and we'll live happily ever after. I was glad that I got to say yes to him before I left. At least he'll know that I wanted to be with him forever. That if things went our way, someday that future may have been put into place. It made me even sadder that I said yes though. Like somehow I got his expectations higher and suddenly they fell when he found out about me leaving him.

It was even sadder because I knew that I wanted to. I wanted it so bad but was scared to admit it. Stop it I thought. I couldn't keep on thinking about what could have been. I'm starting to have doubts myself about what I'm doing here. That if I just go back, everything will be okay and I can have my happily ever after.

I make myself stop thinking of the past and future, and focus on the present. The Seekers will find me soon, and what am I going to do when they find me? I had no idea what or who they thought I was but pretty soon they would find out. I couldn't tell them anything about my life in the caves. Luckily, I wasn't in Melanie anymore, and they can't take those memories from me. But they could take my last ones. But what use are those going to be of me walking? None. They won't take me out of this body. It would provide no use to them.

My thoughts were interrupted by a flashlight shining all over me. This must be it. I thought. They're here. I froze in place. I didn't want them to think that I was going against them. I had to be willing to cooperate as much as possible without giving them any important information.

I will not let them find the caves. My real home. As I stood there, completely vulnerable, I closed my eyes. Even though they're seekers, they wouldn't hurt me, they still are revolted against violence. Goodbye I thought to my old life. And then I could hear the footsteps behind me. What I was surprised about, was that it was only one pair of footsteps.

Before I could react or try and move, something grabbed me from behind and held something to my mouth. I panicked, flailing my arms and legs around trying to get away from the strange violence. I started to feel dizzy and was quickly dozing off, only then did I realize that what the stranger was holding to my mouth was chloroform.

I looked up at the black sky to see no stars in sight, then, my body went limp and everything was black.

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"I will be your guardian,

when all is crumbling,

you can never say never"

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**...reviews?**


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